Sometimes I shouldn’t be allowed out of the house

Splash!
The sound of an almost-full Diet Dr. Pepper makes as it spills all over my desk, keyboard, mouse, chair, floor, etc.
Crash!
The sound of a big glass vase shattering when a chair hits it (was dragging chair out of way of more of the soda).
Squish!
The sound that velvet pants make as they get soaking wet. (ok, a stretch, but you get my point).

Dare I drive home?

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9 thoughts on “Sometimes I shouldn’t be allowed out of the house

  1. I had one of those events yesterday too. I had a plastic disposable container full of grits that I’d measured out. I put it down on the stove, then smelled burning plastic and realized I’d put it on a hot burner. I quick grabbed it up, but a hole had already melted so by grabbing it I just distributed grits all over the stove, the counter and the floor.
    Then I said some bad words.

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    • Argh. I just hate those.
      At least, though, mine wasn’t one of those where you actually have an inkling of “oh, this is a bad idea” but then you convince yourself to do it anyway (and disaster ensues). Those really stink.

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  2. Whenever I have days like that, which I do, my husband threatens to make me a full-body padded oven-mitt style suit so I can’t hurt myself. After breaking a lot of glass things in a 2-day span, I told him he also needed to hang a high hammock and string me up in it so I can’t touch anything else!

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      • I nearly brained myself playing on a hammock once. I was goofing off with a friend, we were jumping on it and swinging high and stuff. Well, I jumped, and she started to swing… and the whole shebang swung right under me, and I face-planted in the dirt. I was amazed that I didn’t smash out my front teef.
        I think the oven mitt suit should be internally heated, and have massaging action, so it’d be like a mini spa vacation!

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      • mmmmmm oven mitt spa — that sounds *wonderful*… reminds me of a spa I went to in Germany… many hot baths, scrubbings, saunas … and then at the end you went to a beautiful atrium room and laid on massage tables where they cocooned you in heated blankies, head-to-toe.
        Instasleep!

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