Stupid way to injure yourself, #112

  1. paint your nails occasionally
  2. sometime, when you think of it, forget to tighten lid on a bottle of nailpolish
  3. set said nailpolish bottle on your bedside table
  4. knock it over
  5. discover it several days later
  6. bemoan the slow leak which has become a puddle, affixing your bottle to the tabletop
  7. pry the sucker off, using a screwdriver
  8. bemoan the fact that you took some of the nightstand varnish with the bottle
  9. use the nailpolish to refinish the bit of the nightstand you just de-varnished (well, it’s not like it was a *nice* nightstand)
  10. return nailpolish to its rightful home (the spiceracks on the closet wall where all the nailpolishes live…clever, eh?)
  11. forget
  12. for a long time
  13. decide, on the spur of the moment, that you need to paint your nails (heck, you’re going out to see Xanadu…now that’s a nailpolish-worthy occasion)
  14. try three bottles of nailpolish whose caps are thoroughly stuck on (it has been a while since you’ve painted your nails, hasn’t it?)
  15. think about using your teeth to open one of the stuck ones
  16. think about the three crowns you already have and decide that’s a bad idea (for once!)
  17. find a bottle of nailpolish whose cap seems to be willing to turn, if somewhat reluctantly
  18. rejoice
  19. grab the bottle in one hand and the cap in the other and tttwwwwwwiiiiiiiissssssttttt
  20. OW!!!
  21. look down at thumb
  22. notice the blood
  23. realize that there’s a knife-like shard of dried nailpolish stuck to the side of the bottle that you just dragged your thumb across
  24. wonder why there’s this flat, sharp nailpolish blob on the bottle

25. remember the nightstand
26. find the liquid bandage
27. sigh

13 thoughts on “Stupid way to injure yourself, #112

  1. pwahahahaha! (excuse my sense of humor)
    I didn’t know you were the walking wounded for Xanadu!
    (well, aside from the obvious you know)
    But it was lovely to see you also.
    We should do stuff…..


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