So my mom forwards me an email this morning called “A Woman Should Have” … mostly affirming, clever bits like:
“A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
…a youth she’s content to leave behind….A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
…a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….”
Yeah, yeah, ok that’s cute. Here’s the bit that got me:
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
…enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to…
Well, that’s nice. I should be able to move out of the home I bought into an apartment… What? Why would I want to do that?
Oh. I see. Because the *assumption* is that I’m living with someone. Well, of course I am, since I’m married…
Grrrrrrr.
Realm of the Lint Queen 
What if I’m the one who actually owns the house?
Sheeee.
How about having enough money to rent a different place to live temporarily, just because she deserves a house in the country?
That last one is pretty dumb.
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I always find these things kind of smarmy. First off, I’ve sworn off of just about anything that tells me what I should do before I ask it to. Good friends and parents are notable exceptions; the former have a standing, if unspoken, invite… and the latter have a persistant belief that it’s still their job to tell me what to do. :-)
Secondly, I’m wary of the gender differentiation. Do they direct it at women because they think that men don’t need these things, too… or because they think that men don’t need to be told that they do?
Personally, I hope I’m always living a present juicy enough that I look forward to retelling it in my old age, even into my old age. :-) And this women, married or not, should have enough money within her control that she owns the damn house and can kick out anyone living there she decides she doesn’t want there — why else would I work as hard as I do? :-)
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I agree
I agree completely … I think the thing that gets me is the *assumptions* — the same assumptions I face when I go to Home Depot by myself “So are you all repainting?” (like I’ve become plural) or that the the stove repairman makes (“Where’s your husband”? Damn good question, that one. If you find him , let me know) or the mortgage company (the mortage papers I signed actually had this “Gina Norman, a single woman” as if somehow Gina Norman could indicate a collective of some sort).
I think that way of looking at the world (all women over X age should be married) is rediculous. I just hate that everyone else (ok, not everyone, witness the comments here… in fact, probably most sensible people, but still) seems to make those assumptions. And perhaps thinks ill of me because I don’t fit that mold.
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