This weekend

Three major things of note:
(1) Friday night I “secret shopped” Rockfish.  They compensate you for your meal, and in return you fill out a *very detailed* report on everything (food, service, cleanliness of tables, outdoor lighting, you name it).  I think I’m pretty good at that sort of thing (noticing details and presenting them in a coherent written format), and what the heck?  a free meal’s a free meal, right?  In addition, this one was fun because we got to award a “gift certificate” to the server if she met all the criteria, which she did.  So fun all around!

(2) Saturday afternoon, my friend Heather and I threw a “girl’s afternoon out” thing.  Basically it involved eight women, four pounds of cheese, two pounds of chocolate, at least 5 bottles of wine (maybe more) and fire.  Yes, Fondue Forks for Everyone!  It was an interesting mix of people and ended up being a complete hoot.  We’re going to try to do another one soon, with perhaps some craftiness added in, as it turns out that a (surprising?) number of us knit, make jewelry, spin, scrapbook, sew or make cards.  Or all of the above.

(BTW, I’m trying to learn the lesson here that this — the throwing of casual events — doesn’t have to be incredibly stressful, time-consuming or expensive.  Yes, it took some time to put together and there was cost involved, but sharing the work with someone else made it ever-so-much easier.  And, of course, I was stressed, especially at the beginning when people were first showing up, but for no real reason, as it all was good!)

(3) Sunday night was my friend Kim’s birthday shindig.  As originally scheduled it was to have been a Saturday night get-your-groove-thing-on, adults-only party; however, due to Kim (and Tim, her hubby) needing to be out of town Saturday night, it got shifted to a more mellow, pot-lucky bring-the-kids Sunday evening thing.

First and foremost, I had a wonderful time.  T/K’s friends are, to a (wo)man, charming, intelligent people, whom I really enjoyed talking to.

With that important statement clear, I’ll admit:  it was *weird* and disorienting.  Not only was I (get this) the ONLY single straight person there, I was also the only one without child(ren)!  Me and my friend Kenny from high school and his partner David were the three representatives from the land of childrenlessness.

Now rationally I know that the majority of people my age are married, and of those, a majority probably have children by now.  That being said, some of my most immediate friends don’t have kids and at least a few are still single (getting fewer by the day, but that’s another story)** and I don’t regularly attend play groups or shop for groceries in the middle of a weekday afternoon*, so it’s pretty rare for me to see “the majority” in action.

So, honestly, it was a little disconcerting to all-of-a-sudden be dropped into a whole different demographic.  Honestly, I felt a bit like the Freakishly (/Childless) Single One — again, through no fault of anyone at the party, but just because I was the exception not the rule.

Anyway — maybe more on this later, but for now, just the observation.

** For example, the Saturday girl’s thing ended up being 2 single, 4 married, 2 married+kids.
* Not that all women with kids are stay-at-home moms, but more that many of the folks with free time to shop during weekday afternoon are likely to be stay-at-home moms (who would remind me of the “majority state” of things).

4 thoughts on “This weekend

  1. YOu have the coolest weekends! Strangely, the married thing is opposite here in LA. My husband and I are recently married at 30. We haven’t very many married friends and their are not many who are married at his work around his year. Our single friends seem to think that we are off the social market now that we are married. We rarely get invited to do anything social. I plan at least two events a month so I don’t know where they get that. I love getting ideas for social events and parties from you. Ummm, maybe a fondu pot is in order. I also like the idea of sharing the event with a friend.


    • You’re too sweet
      I wonder if the difference is that you’re 30 and I’m 35? It seems that many of the married-with-kids that I know have done (one or both) post-thirty, but pre-now. (Most of the kids at this party — in fact, all but one of them — were between 10 mos. and 4 or 5.)
      It’ll be interesting to see how your situation shifts (if, in fact, it does) in the next few years… (let us know! ;-)
      Anbd thanks for the compliment — I don’t know that I deserve it (as it seems to me that I’m an extremely reluctant host, by comparison to my friends), but I appreciate it anyway.
      Fondu = cheesy love


  2. how do you get to be a ‘secret shopper’?? i want free dinners, too!
    i’m feeling the pressure of being “single” (though in a committed relationship) and child-free. i don’t understand what makes my friends who are 1) married and 2) parents feel that those labels work for everyone. it’s really starting to piss me off!


    • On the secret shopper bit, there are tons of companies that do this…ig you google on “secret shopper” you’ll find plenty. The cool thing is that most of them let you apply for the position and for individual “shops” online.
      (And thanks for the commiseration on the other!)


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