I’ve said a few things as an adult that I really, truly regret. Inevitably (and unfortunately, and probably also predictably), I say them in front of enormous groups of people.
I did it again tonight.
I was at a neighborhood watch/safety meeting and asking the policeman there if he’d heard anything about a crime that had happened. In order to explain what I meant I described the crime locale: That first driveway (good so far), when you turn off Carpenter Fletcher (still good), right down by where the ramshackle (oh dear) house is (Alert! Alert! Close Mouth Now!).
I was *not* talking about the house *on* Carpenter Fletcher *next* to the driveway, but a shack (that really is a shack) *on* the driveway in question, which is part of a property my doctor owns on which she is building her new office. All the same, it sure did sound like I was saying one of my neighbors lived in a shack. All because I couldn’t just “get while the getting was good” and had to continue on with the dramatic (but not well thought out) description.
So, just now I tripped over the baby gate at the entrance to the Puppy Palace and stubbed my baby toe so well that it’s now bleeding. Poor coordination or karmic retribution?
Perhaps at some point (should I feel the need for further embarrassment) I will add the one I pulled a few years back
Or maybe not. This may have been enough to persuade me to keep my mouth shut.
Realm of the Lint Queen 
Hmmm, my little boy stubbed his toe in the Duke Gardens parking lot and it’s bloody too. Good thing I kept him away from the community meeting?
Wanna do lunch sometime? I keep meaning to email you…
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I do — we’re in the middle of an enormous launch (hopefully done end of April), but after that, yes, indeed — lunch would be grand!
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I think we have the same doctor, because I saw her today and she said she was building a new office off CarpFletch!
Dr. M. rules!
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OMG! Yes, Dr. M DOES rule!!
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I just LOVE Dr. M. and her staff. They have been soooo good to me over the years. Glad she’s not moving far away!
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Is your icon from something by Maxfield Parrish?
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I think it’s Alphonse Mucha. Art Nouveau, anyway! I just love it.
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Ah, ok: Mucha makes more sense than Parrish. Thanks!
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Stop. Just stop. I’m not talking about foot-in-mouth: I’m talking about your being upset over what sounds like a perfectly good description. Do you have any feedback from anyone else that makes you think you upset someone? I’m being preachy because I do this sort of thing all the time, and I wish I didn’t. So I wish you wouldn’t either. ;)
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Well, another guy at the meeting said (immediately after I finished) “Someone lives in that house” — dunno how many people heard him nor, in fact, if everyone else thought I meant the house, but it was enough.
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D’oh. Well, you still didn’t mean anything bad, right?
Also,people misunderstand things all the time. And you can twist yourself into knots trying to be understood by everyone. I don’t mean to say that you shouldn’t be clear, just that no matter how hard you try to be clear, you will occasionally be misunderstood.
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No, I didn’t mean anything bad. Just an unfortunate combination of my flair for the dramatic intersecting with unclear sentence structure.
I knew you weren’t saying I shouldn’t try to be clear (how’s that for convoluted), and I know that everyone is misunderstood sometimes, but still… aye yi yi. regret.
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Actually I put my foot in my mouth VERY badly last month, and I still am mad at myself. My sister’s hairstylist asked me about my business, and I said, loud and bright like always, “I sell SEX TOYS, baby!” and then felt like crapola because I realized that my 10-year-old nephew and 7-year-old niece were RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME! Gads! I *know* better than that. I was so mad at myself.
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